I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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