You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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