How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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