ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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