he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
