Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just invented taco cereal.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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