There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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