to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
