We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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