you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
