YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
