So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
