Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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