She said her name was "party"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
