By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
