There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
