Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
