tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
