College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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