Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Plan B is the new Plan A
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
