just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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