Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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