This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize