just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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