dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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