So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
