Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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