When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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