The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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