Say something about gay babies.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
