I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
