i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
