We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
