turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
