Pappa wants mamma naked
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize