This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
