I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
