quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
