Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
