Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
ok first of all what the fuck
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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