the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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