I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
