Screwed.edu
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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