Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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