Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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