This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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