I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
