He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
