So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
