God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
