I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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