does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
