i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
