____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
