she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
