Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
