are you so shy because you have an std?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You ruined the universe
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
