I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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