I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
