it was like eating out sand paper
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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