You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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