He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
this is an emotional support booty call
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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