We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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