Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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