The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
