The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Can Purell be used as lube?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
