Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize