I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
